Big Bowl of Nothing

(Mister Takeout can be found on Twitter @mistertakeout and on FB as John Q Takeout)

I'm on what I call a not-get-any-fatter diet. Instead of trying to look good with my shirt off, I'm working to make sure I don't die of a heart attack any time soon. Or, even worse, have to to buy bigger pants every six months. As you may have already guessed, this poses a problem for a guy who's buying takeout three or four times a week so he can review it in this very blog. How do I eat all this good (and bad) stuff without blowing up like Oprah on an upswing?

After discussing the problem with my wife, who is also on the diet, we (meaning she) came up with a brilliant solution: sample the takeout food just enough to get a handle on it, and give the rest to the homeless guys who mill about on the sidewalk outside my building. I admit it will be a major test of willpower to eat a healthy bag lunch from home instead of the steaming, creamy alfredo from the pasta place up the street, but I'm hoping a daily act of charity will help fill the gaping hole left in my soul... er, stomach by the carrots and low fat yogurt.


Today's Takeout Lunch Establishment

Big Bowl Fresh Chinese and Thai
60 East Ohio
Chicago, IL
312-951-1888


The Order

Shrimp Pad Thai with Wok Seared Gulf Shrimp
$13.97 with tax


The Wait

I called this one in about 12:15 and was told it would be ready in 20 minutes. Sure enough, when I showed up at 12:37 I could see my order behind the cash register at the bar, packaged up and ready to go. The only problem was there was nobody there to hand it to me. I scanned the restaurant and saw that the lunch rush was in full swing. Fair enough, I thought, I ordered during peak business hours and should expect to have to wait a few minutes to be taken care of. Fifteen minutes later I walked across the restaurant and asked a surly looking waiter if someone could help me with my takeout order. After rolling his eyes and sighing loudly, he said, "Gimme a minute and I'll meet you at the register." Five minutes later Mr. Surly rang me up and gave me his best attempt at a hard look when I failed to leave a tip.
RATING: 0


The Packaging

Big Bowl provides nice, sturdy, reusable bags with string handles that make their unusually heavy meals easy to carry long distances. The container with the pad thai was made of recyclable plastic and sealed up tightly, unlike the leaky styrofoam vessels one often receives from Asian restaurants of all stripes.
RATING: 7


The Presentation

There's not much you can do with pad thai to make it look special. A sprig of cilantro might brighten the dish up a little, but really, what's the point? Despite the interminable wait at the restaurant and the ten minute walk back to my office, the noodles were still steamy and aromatic, and showed no signs of sticking together as I stirred them with my chopsticks.
RATING: 6


The Food Itself

The noodles were perfect - just a slight snap between the teeth as I bit down and a pleasingly delicate texture on the tongue. I'm not much good at identifying individual herbs and spices in a dish, but I know a good balance of flavors when I taste one and this dish had it in spades. Just as I was beginning to be transported to gustatory nirvana, I noticed something that made my stomach sink: there were only four shrimp in the whole pile of pad thai. I turned, I lifted, I swirled, I even raised the container up to my face for closer inspection, but sure enough, just four measly shrimp. And there, folks, went the entire meal. I'm not aware of any international pad thai standard that determines the number of shrimp per dollar, but for 14 bucks I certainly expected a lot more than I got. I called and complained and was offered 10% my my next meal at big bowl, but I'm not sure I'll be back to collect.
RATING: 0


It is possible Big Bowl is one of those restaurants you have to eat-in at in order to receive good service and a decent value for your dollar. I've heard friends and colleagues return from long lunches raving about this curry or that dumpling or the unique drink menu. But as a restaurant that offers takeout lunch, Big Bowl on Ohio serves up a big bowl of nothing.

OVERALL RATING: 3