Now THAT'S a slice of pizza

(Mister Takeout can be found on Twitter @mistertakeout and on FB as John Q Takeout)

I'm not a very good Chicagoan. Or so my family, friends and neighbors tell me. I complain about winter. I was happy when Macy's bought Marshall Field's. I support booth the Cubs AND the White Sox, and could care less about the Bears, Bulls and Blackhawks. And whenever I hear people call Chicago the City of Big Shoulders, I mutter to myself, "More like the city of people who don't know how to walk in a straight line, especially when wearing a thousand dollar suit and carrying a tent-sized umbrella."

But worst of all, my most heinous and unforgivable crime, is the fact that I hate Chicago style deep dish pizza. It's like the Thanksgiving dinner of Italian- American dishes, except they serve it all year 'round. Too much sauce, too much cheese, too much sausage, too much everything. I prefer big, floppy, thin crust wedges that you can eat while sitting at your desk or walking down the street. Like they make in New York City. Or - GASP! - San Francisco. Luckily, I've found a little place near my office that serves takeout thin crust pizza by the slice. It's called Pizza-Ria, and they'll sell you a satisfying meal that won't make you feel like you swallowed a bowling ball coated in axle grease.

Today's Takeout Lunch Establishment

405 N. Wabash Ave. #2
Chicago, IL 60611
312-348-5558


The Order

"Big Meaty" Pizza Slice
$8.39 with tax


The Wait

Pizza-Ria changed ownership recently, and though the place looks like a bit of a pigsty now, the speed and quality of service has improved significantly. I ducked in out of the wind at about 11:50pm and found myself at the end of a decent sized line. But with two people taking orders and three people slinging slices the line moved quickly and I was able to order within about five minutes. Another five minutes and I had my slice and choice of condiments in hand. I wouldn’t exactly call Pizza-Ria fast food, but it appears they have a good system in place now.

RATING: 10


The Packaging

Pizza-Ria packaging is bare bones. The slice goes into a box made from 90% post-consumer content and they always ask whether you want a bag, napkins and condiments rather than just handing them out. I chose to go with just the box and the pizza stayed hot all the way to my desk. Can’t argue with that.

RATING: 10


The Food Itself

To paraphrase Homer Simpson, “Mmmmmmm, Biiiigggg Meeeaaatyyyy.” The slice was hot, smelled like heaven and the crust was toasted to perfection. Sometimes when you put too much cheese, sauce, sausage, pepperoni, bacon and ground beef on a pizza slice, the whole mass congeals and tries to slide off the crust and into your lap. Not so with the Pizza-Ria Big Meaty. They have it down to a science; just enough of everything to be truly big and meaty while still holding together long enough to get it from the box and into your belly.

RATING: 10


So what if I'm not a good Chicagoan? I was born and raised in the tropics - why would I be? All that matters is I know what I like in a slice of pizza and I know where to find it. And now you do too.

OVERALL RATING: 10

(There's a homeless guy calls himself "Smokin' Dave" who hangs out in front of the McDonald's next to Pizza-Ria. He'll be getting the bulk of my pizza slice on my way to the train tonight. I sliced off and ate a two inch by two inch piece to write this review as I am on a "not get any fatter" diet.)